Les Maux du Cameroun: Football.

It all starts with alcohol

Going back to Cameroon is an opportunity to see family members, old chums and relive one's nostalgic past. It is also true that such trips heighten a sense of accomplishment for a lot of Cameroonians as they are hailed as "bushfallers", a term that means they have the means to control a lot of situations that require financial intervention. Some rejoice in this new-found-glory that puts at their disposal albeit temporarily, alcohol, sex, power, in short, la dolce vita. Alcohol plays an important role in being Cameroonian, that is, for those who indulge in it or encourage others to, or do not discourage its consumption. If it stopped people from entering the kingdom of God, a lot of Cameroonians will be hovering around the gates of heaven waiting for a corrupt angel to bribe their way in. Alcohol will not be discussed today. Its sidekick that provides as much pleasure and promotes its consumption, football, will the object of discussion.

Back in the days...

From its first official game against Djibouti which it won by 9 goals to 2, the country had to wait 10 years to play its first African nations cup in 1970. They didn't make it past the first round. Cameroon reacted by building 2 stadiums and hosting the African nations cup in 1972. The Stade de la Reunification in Douala and the Stade Omnisports of Yaounde hosted the nations cup. The Stade Omnisports of Yaounde later named Stade Ahmadou Ahidjo in honor of Cameroon's first and other President hosted the semi finals pitting Cameroon against Congo Brazzaville. The packed stadium was shocked into silence this Thursday  March 2, 1972 when Minga scored the first goal of the match. Cameroon never came back. Cameroon finished the competition in 3rd place.The seeds of future success had been sown. In 1978, another stadium, Roumde Adjia, was built in Garoua.

I clearly remember as a young boy in the seventies listening to the voices of Abel Mbengue and Zachary Nkwo as they called matches that were played in "far away" places like Kinshasa, Abidjan, Rabat, Cairo, etc. I remember Canon of Yaounde overcoming a 4-goal deficit to beat AS Bilima of Zaire. There was a picture of their goalkeeper in the Cameroon Tribune the next day, it read "Siampassi, quatre buts ca suffit, sort" (Simapassi four goals are enough get out). The Zairians even called us wizards: "Banaba Cameroun bazalaki sorciers". In 1982, Cameroon faced Morocco in a game that determined who will go to the world cup in Spain. My mother, who like every other Cameroonian loved football left for the stadium very early in the morning. She almost got killed when a live electrical wire fell on the crowd. She was hurt and for a while carried a scar around her neck and wrist, areas where she wore bracelets and necklaces. Cameroon has won the African Nations Cup 4 times, qualified for the world cup playoffs 6 times (a record in Africa), was the first African team to reach the quarterfinals of the world cup (defeated by England in 1990 2-3), has won Olympic gold once. Like most Cameroonians, I have watched most of the Indomitable Lions (name of soccer team) games. Each game is as exciting as the other, whether I watched in person at the Ahmadou Ahidjo stadium or on television. My feet will be cold, my heart will pound heavily and sometimes I will finish the game with a headache.

Football in Cameroon used to be a strong uniting force, a common theme around which the idea of national pride, patriotism danced. It is some sort of umbilical cord that bridged and held together the loose idea of Cameroon: language, culture, education, etc. Even Cameroon's President bowed to football which he constantly uses in his speeches as his accomplishments. Never mind the foolery that there are other important sports in Cameroon as iterated in an early Biyaism (something Paul Biya says in speeches but no one believes): "au Cameroun il n'y a pas de sports majeur ni de sports mineur" loosely translated as there are no major or minor sports in Cameroon.

Don't be fooled that football, "the king of sports" in Cameroon as it provides support to a dictatorship will be justifiably rewarded. You will be wrong. Here are some facts for you. Cameroon has 3 stadiums that can be referred to as such: in Yaounde, Douala and Garoua. These were all constructed before 1980. Since then Mr Biya, who took over from Mr. Ahidjo three decades ago, has built NO major stadium in 30 years! Cameroon has not organized the African Nations Cup or even hinted at being interested.

Behind the scene goals

The Cameroon Football Federation, FECAFOOT, is a breeding ground for corrupt officials. The corruption  became outrageous by the late 90s when Vincent Onana was shoved aside and an interim executive headed by Iya Mohamed was put in place. FECAFOOT has never recovered from the stigma of corruption that required the intervention of FIFA in 1998. The responsibilities of FECAFOOT are fraught with lucrative deals and chances for kickbacks: making deals with national teams' sponsors, managing the coffers of the National teams of football, hiring coaches, managing teams teams that represent Cameroon in international club competitions, etc. Being President of FECAFOOT is a prestigious position that can also open the doors to international fame. Just ask Issa Hayatou, today President of the African Football Confederation (AFC). Mr. Mohamed Iya is the FECAFOOT's longest serving President (since 2000), reelected twice already. To be fair, corruption in football is a widespread phenomenon, unfortunately this fact does not help us each time our football team loses.

There are numerous stories of coaches receiving kickbacks from players for a spot in the national team. Outspoken players like Joseph Antoine Bell's criticisms have failed to gain any traction because they go against a mafia-like system that is reflective of the Cameroon political system. You can throw the kitchen sink at it and have not even a scratch to show for it. Players like Etame Mayer (one of my favorites) will forever deserve the respect of Cameroonians for taking a stand against playing for the Indomitable Lions of Cameroon (ILC) under the kind of conditions he decried: no adequate preparation and planning, players's compensation unpaid and unaccounted for, favoritism, lack of training material, poor turf, tribalism ... There has also been a pandering to stars whose every whim and caprice prevail. It is common knowledge that Samuel Eto'o Fils,(SEF) the most gifted player that ever came out of Cameroon had his say in the selection of players. He has at various times used his weight to favor positions that, though may mean well, have nonetheless muddied the group ambiance and cohesion and undermined the position of those who are seemingly in charge.

Just recently, SEF's feud with now Barcelona midfielder, Alexandre Song kept the latter away from the national team until recently. Alexandre has not been the only victim. You would think that with an expatriate coach, the least of the ILC's coach failings would be assertiveness, but that is exactly what has been lacking. The loser it turns out is always the Cameroonian people who have been subjected to an "either or" situation with National team players. It is true that it has been a while since the National team has come to the people pan handling as they did in the 90s with the famous "coup de coeur", but the Cameroonian people are still paying a heavy price for this corruption rigmarole. They contribute to the National team through taxes (never mind if the credit goes to the coffer's keeper, Biya), they miss out on a good performance by their national team and when the team loses, they are ready to victimize those who are vulnerable like Pierre Wome Nlend who almost got lynched for missing a penalty.

Eto'o: remarkable player, mediocre leader

SEF's captainship, a bad idea from the onset (and I welcome debates on that) resulted in one of the worst infighting that the National Team has ever known. National team performances have been beyond acceptable to the extent that I believe that some of our matches were fixed. If you think that is a little too far fetched, I recommend that you read a recent UN publication, chapter 8. SEF is Cameroon's best player ever, but he is chronically deficient in leadership ability. There is a big difference between arrogance displayed on a football turf and arrogance in the dressing room. The ultimate culmination was a botched attempt at ascertaining his self-proclaimed righteousness as a patriot that backfired leading to his suspension from the national team. Although there were mixed reactions, and although some action was needed, we can all agree that the manner of sanctioning, once again like most things in Cameroon, was done spontaneously for a certain immediate dramatic effect without regard for process. SEF fired back when his suspension was over and said to hell with the ILC. In a letter that stated his position he made it clear that the same poor conditions that include managerial amateurism still prevail and stated that despite the fact that his suspension had ended, he will not play for the ILC.

Cameroon's next match will be against Cap Verde on Sunday, October 14, 2012. SEF will play. I know, I am perplexed too! It is a Cameroonian thing: you say something that you don't believe in to please people or a situation and when the opportunity presents itself, completely reverse course. The President does it, why shouldn't Mr. Eto'o? When Cameroon wins that return game against Cap Verde (I am sure they will) the can will be kicked further down the road until the next scandal surfaces. Cameroonians, thirsty for good news regardless of its provenance will retreat into a temporary bliss triggered by nostalgia of a time when being ILC bordered on invincibility. Of course, the bars will be full of people from Biyem Assi to Nkolbisson through Elig Belibi. SEF will be hailed a patriot, Akono will be the savior and their god, Biya will be begged for another term of office. Somewhere in FECAFOOT and FECABAHOHI (Fédération Camerounaise des Bandits Hors Hierarchie), members will comment on how close they came to losing some booty. Phew! All that was needed was just one win! Poor Cameroon!

Grands ambitions, piètres réalisations

I have for some time now lived under the fallacy that the President of Cameroon and some high ranking officials do not care about Cameroon and football, that they are not patriotic. I am sorry, I was wrong. How can anyone without a soul be patriotic? It's like expecting a 2 year old child to display behavior that has never been modeled for it before. No, Mr. Biya has no soul, neither do any of the people whose fortunes have been made off football. It takes only a soulless person to rule over a soccer nation like Cameroon without expressing the desire to host the nations cup even once.
 It is equally selfishness. For the love and respect that our nation has received from all corners of the world, Cameroon owes the world or at the very least Africa, a display of its culture, an opening of its doors to the world, a return of the favor so to speak by expressing albeit a feeble interest in organizing an African Nations Cup. It is outright dishonesty and economic buffoonery of geometric proportions not to have considered this. How can anyone be so disdainful of the people who have given him everything to the extent of bestial servility? How can a nation like Cameroon (now FIFA classified 73rd out of 207) dominate world football and have only three stadiums that were built almost half a century ago? How can a poor nation like Cameroon have two coaches under its payroll?

The future, what future?

Somewhere in the football documents of Cameroon, a plan for Cameroon's football teams should be well laid out. The opening seasons of all levels of football competitions must be well defined, the number of teams, the qualification process, the procedure for solving disputes, the criteria for naming team captains, a long term goal for national team 'A' or 'B', the areas of investment of the various revenues from sponsors and diverse competitions, definition of a ILC delegation, friendly encounters for the various football seasons (world cup, ANC, etc), a pension system for retired footballers, date of the Cameroon football cup final, and so on. Yes, I am sure all that is well defined somewhere and accumulating dust because we know nothing about it. FECAFOOT's website lacks any information on what I refer to (www.fecafootonline.com) idem for the ministry of sports and physical education (http://www.minsep.cm/). They do have lots of other information though. When teams qualify for the Cup of Cameroon finals, they have to wait for the President to tell them when the finals will be played. There is a better way and it begins with a definition of what/where we want our to be and how to get there. Proper planning and preparation has transformed mediocre talent into effective talent. Cameroon's football is too big, too beautiful, too promising, too important to be left in the hands of the charlatans who manage it now, including the man with the final say, Mr. Biya.




Cameroonians have always made the error of thinking that their National team that saw its apogee in 1990 will continue to prosper by some miracle. Paradoxically, it is a nation of farmers who understand that for the yield to be good, the crop must be well tendered and constantly. The notion of maintenance/sustenance that hitherto did not matter to Cameroonian football executives whose priority was to collect the golden eggs once they are hatched for coffers that simply lacked the adjective "national" must now. If spontaneous reactions rather than adequate careful preparation are still be the order of the day, then we are headed in the wrong direction. Until decisions to hire coaches are devoid of Mrs. Chantal Biya's (whose background and only expertise of any kind is being the wife of the President) intervention or her husband's, until players cease to be treated like ATM machines, until FECAFOOT shakes off corruption and lays down a careful plan for our darling sport, until Mr. Biya undergoes a soul transplant and builds a world class football stadium, our football will never know its glory of yore.

Miracles are possible: banaba Cameroun bazalaki sorciers, right?