Errance mentale: going personal on homosexuality.
I didn't understand why anyone would be sexually attracted to someone from their own gender. I still don't. I don't know why I am heterosexual. I understand the Darwinian need for the propagation of the gene, hence reproduction. I get that, but as a male, why do I prefer women and not men? I don't know. There are smart and stupid people out there who have answers to our sexual urges and go further by prescribing norms our sexuality should conform to. As preposterous and bogus as those confinements may be, the traction, unbelievably, is on their side. I have lately been searching for answers as to why a man having intercourse with another man is wrong or harmful to me or society. Let's have a conversation on homosexuality. I'll go first and hope that I don't lose you along the way. I will use the term homosexual interchangeably with the term "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender or LGBT." I apologize to anyone who may find this offensive.
My parents never talked about sex to me. The only conversation (more like admonitions) I benefited from was prompted by the fear of me getting a girl pregnant. Growing up, the most disgraceful and embarrassing situation for a parent was a pregnant daughter. Although the fear of pregnancy out of wedlock loomed for most parents of female children, the urgency and the need for a conversation on sexuality with their children was almost always absent. My society, the one I grew up in, preferred to bury its head in the sand. In the mind of a youth, there is no vacuum. Sex education became my responsibility, and everything I could lay my hands on was food for my curiosity: books, friends, and whatever fortuitous source was available. For instance, a friend of mine and I were treated to a practical experience on ejaculation from his older brother. I didn't know what masturbation and orgasm meant then. I hope you understand the ellipsis at this point. What could have happened had our adventitious "teacher" been a pervert?
When I went to college, I lived in a room that was across from another, rented and shared by two girls. I remember that they were always neatly dressed, a detail which has no bearing on this story but qualifies as a requisite for my personal attraction to the opposite sex. These two ladies were always seen together, which was frustrating to me because it thwarted my design to speak to one of them on some matter that... Soon, word got around that they were lesbians. With no prior experience or knowledge, I saw no signs and wondered why the rumor existed and persisted. One day one of the girls (the "man" in the relationship) knocked on my door and presented me with a tray of fried fish (bigger than my palm), fried ripe plantains, and delicious onion pepper (the really hot type!). You may never understand what this means. In 1992 times were hard for Yaounde University students, and the meal I was graciously offered was like wishing for a means of transportation and being presented with a Bentley! I reconsidered my amorous launch, and though we were never friends, we had good neighborly relations and respected one another.
I flirted with the explanation offered by the Judeo-Christian faith about homosexuality as a learned behavior, a reaction by the homosexual to some adverse condition(s) in their personal lives: disappointment in love, painful experiences, abandonment by a parent, dominant female, inadequacy of the sexual partner (this was my personal contribution), etc. It never occurred to me that if that were the case, heterosexuals, too, were prone to a similar fate. There was also the defense (yes, I felt then that I was under attack) that it is anti-marriage and procreation. I believed (of course, with the influence of religion) that it was just some kind of disease from which people could be cured. It was all these things and more: an eyesore, indecency, ... just plain wrong. Personally, it was non-threatening, it was not contagious, and once in a while served as a tool to make fun of our friends. My head was deeply buried in the sand for the most part. I want to use this forum to express my mea culpa to everyone in the LGBT community. I am deeply sorry for my previous behavior and actions against any homosexual.
Today, I am fully aware of where I stand on a lot of issues, and I want to tell everyone who reads this that denying some people the right to love whoever they want is an abuse of their fundamental rights as human beings. I have had colleagues who are homosexuals: they are no better or worse than the rest of us. The real threat that we face in Africa, and Cameroon in particular, is child abuse and neglect in all its forms. If half the energy that is used to condemn and fight homosexuality is employed in prosecuting child rape and other perversions sanctioned by laws that allow a 60-year-old man to get married to a 16-year-old girl, our society would be slightly better. South Africa's Bill of Rights, which may stem from a long struggle with discrimination, is very specific on the issue of sexual orientation. The protection homosexuals get from this bill of rights is the exact opposite of what the LGBT community in Uganda faces today. You could end up in jail for life for being gay.
Uganda's President on homosexuality: "I regarded it as an inborn problem, Genetic distortion -- that was my argument. But now our scientists have knocked this one out." This was partly on advice received from Dean Hamer, scientist emeritus at the National Institutes of Health, who wrote an open letter to Ugandan scientists stating, "There is no scientific evidence that homosexual orientation is a learned behavior any more than is heterosexual orientation." Had science pointed out that homosexuality is a "genetic distortion," would Mr. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni have changed his course of action and vetoed the bill? As it stands, it is just a clear juxtaposition of a dog, a bad name, and hanging. To spend so many resources and lose some in the process of searching for an answer to a problem that does not exist, Mr. Museveni has not only acted foolishly but cruelly as well. By associating with the likes of evangelical hooligans like Scott Riley, who will stop at nothing to transform the world into a Christian nation, Ugandans will pay the price for this kind of discrimination because deviancy, real or perceived as the case at hand demonstrates, does not pick and choose. It just happens.
In the days ahead, someone in Cameroon, Uganda, or Zimbabwe will be jailed for the hideous crime of loving. I hold no religious beliefs, but I am familiar with the Christian belief that everyone was made in the image of a certain god, apparently not homosexuals. The same book says you should love your neighbors, except... homosexuals. There is a lot in the Christian bible (the sermon on the mount, the adulteress' fable, the 10 commandments) that could go the way of condoning homosexual behavior. Unfortunately, there is also the sword of Damocles in the bible's Leviticus to muddy the interpretation in favor of homosexuals. As is the tendency with religious intolerance, one can be certain that a Christian zealot will kill a homosexual one of these days, and it will be OK. After all, there is no difference between being jailed for life and being killed, right? It's just a homosexual!
Looking at interactions on FB, for instance, I read vociferous and intolerant attacks on homosexuals from Africans and Cameroonians in particular. Paradoxically these people live in foreign societies in which others have fought hard for them to be recognized as a minority. They benefit from certain provisions that favor their insertion in societies that value equality and the rights of minorities. Christians want the right to observe their religious beliefs in a nonchristian society. Idem with Muslims who wear their hijabs and other religious paraphernalia unperturbed on US streets, for instance. This type of hypocrisy is very fashionable and is tantamount to selfishness.
No, my brothers and sisters from Africa, homosexuality is not an African import. It is as old as prostitution and is practiced in all societies. It was present in the Egyptian civilization and recent historical accounts in Africa. I can understand anyone's disgust at homosexual practices (I am not comfortable with two men kissing yet), but this has nothing to do with what you and I are comfortable with. It has everything to do with fairness and equity. As I write this, a child is being sold into some form of slavery in Africa. Children are working as house help for their uncles, aunts, brothers, and so on. The latter are "responsible" men and women who have used their authority to impress on these children's parents (most of whom are poor) that they will "take care" of their children for them. The parents gladly give away their children, one less mouth to feed, to their "enlightened" relatives. Some of these children end up living in deplorable conditions in homes where they care for their cousins, nieces, or other children, sometimes the same age as them. Many of these children suffer corporal punishment, and some are sexually abused. It will not be surprising if some of the boys are abused by men who are promoting laws against homosexuality. Some of these children end up working as sex slaves. This is our real problem. Where is the outcry? Is this a fight that is worth the deployment of all available resources (including any reserved for the fight against homosexuality) to curb and eradicate it? My guess is more Cameroonians are familiar with what I describe than they are threatened by homosexuality.
In every civilization, humans react to deviant and harmful behavior by invoking checking mechanisms or setting in place punitive measures with the aim of restoring a sense of balance. I don't see what these measures against homosexuality solve. Christians say it is a sin. We are not all Christians. I have also heard this crypto-racist term "traditional family values" branded. According to some, sexual intercourse is limited to procreation. Even bonobos and dolphins disagree as they, besides us, like to frolic and enjoy sex not solely for the purpose of reproduction. There is nothing traditional that is all binding and compelling. It all depends on personal preferences. That is why we need tolerance to accommodate the fantasy some hold that we are descendants of Adam and Eve, as well as the faulty solipsism that if you don't believe in someone's god, you are an infidel good for doom. Our vast accommodations for one man's poison and another's medicine require we extend the same courtesy to homosexuals. I am personally less threatened by homosexuals than I am by Christian and Muslim zealots.
Please stop the irascible discrimination.
Then, let's talk.
My parents never talked about sex to me. The only conversation (more like admonitions) I benefited from was prompted by the fear of me getting a girl pregnant. Growing up, the most disgraceful and embarrassing situation for a parent was a pregnant daughter. Although the fear of pregnancy out of wedlock loomed for most parents of female children, the urgency and the need for a conversation on sexuality with their children was almost always absent. My society, the one I grew up in, preferred to bury its head in the sand. In the mind of a youth, there is no vacuum. Sex education became my responsibility, and everything I could lay my hands on was food for my curiosity: books, friends, and whatever fortuitous source was available. For instance, a friend of mine and I were treated to a practical experience on ejaculation from his older brother. I didn't know what masturbation and orgasm meant then. I hope you understand the ellipsis at this point. What could have happened had our adventitious "teacher" been a pervert?
When I went to college, I lived in a room that was across from another, rented and shared by two girls. I remember that they were always neatly dressed, a detail which has no bearing on this story but qualifies as a requisite for my personal attraction to the opposite sex. These two ladies were always seen together, which was frustrating to me because it thwarted my design to speak to one of them on some matter that... Soon, word got around that they were lesbians. With no prior experience or knowledge, I saw no signs and wondered why the rumor existed and persisted. One day one of the girls (the "man" in the relationship) knocked on my door and presented me with a tray of fried fish (bigger than my palm), fried ripe plantains, and delicious onion pepper (the really hot type!). You may never understand what this means. In 1992 times were hard for Yaounde University students, and the meal I was graciously offered was like wishing for a means of transportation and being presented with a Bentley! I reconsidered my amorous launch, and though we were never friends, we had good neighborly relations and respected one another.
I flirted with the explanation offered by the Judeo-Christian faith about homosexuality as a learned behavior, a reaction by the homosexual to some adverse condition(s) in their personal lives: disappointment in love, painful experiences, abandonment by a parent, dominant female, inadequacy of the sexual partner (this was my personal contribution), etc. It never occurred to me that if that were the case, heterosexuals, too, were prone to a similar fate. There was also the defense (yes, I felt then that I was under attack) that it is anti-marriage and procreation. I believed (of course, with the influence of religion) that it was just some kind of disease from which people could be cured. It was all these things and more: an eyesore, indecency, ... just plain wrong. Personally, it was non-threatening, it was not contagious, and once in a while served as a tool to make fun of our friends. My head was deeply buried in the sand for the most part. I want to use this forum to express my mea culpa to everyone in the LGBT community. I am deeply sorry for my previous behavior and actions against any homosexual.
Today, I am fully aware of where I stand on a lot of issues, and I want to tell everyone who reads this that denying some people the right to love whoever they want is an abuse of their fundamental rights as human beings. I have had colleagues who are homosexuals: they are no better or worse than the rest of us. The real threat that we face in Africa, and Cameroon in particular, is child abuse and neglect in all its forms. If half the energy that is used to condemn and fight homosexuality is employed in prosecuting child rape and other perversions sanctioned by laws that allow a 60-year-old man to get married to a 16-year-old girl, our society would be slightly better. South Africa's Bill of Rights, which may stem from a long struggle with discrimination, is very specific on the issue of sexual orientation. The protection homosexuals get from this bill of rights is the exact opposite of what the LGBT community in Uganda faces today. You could end up in jail for life for being gay.
Uganda's President on homosexuality: "I regarded it as an inborn problem, Genetic distortion -- that was my argument. But now our scientists have knocked this one out." This was partly on advice received from Dean Hamer, scientist emeritus at the National Institutes of Health, who wrote an open letter to Ugandan scientists stating, "There is no scientific evidence that homosexual orientation is a learned behavior any more than is heterosexual orientation." Had science pointed out that homosexuality is a "genetic distortion," would Mr. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni have changed his course of action and vetoed the bill? As it stands, it is just a clear juxtaposition of a dog, a bad name, and hanging. To spend so many resources and lose some in the process of searching for an answer to a problem that does not exist, Mr. Museveni has not only acted foolishly but cruelly as well. By associating with the likes of evangelical hooligans like Scott Riley, who will stop at nothing to transform the world into a Christian nation, Ugandans will pay the price for this kind of discrimination because deviancy, real or perceived as the case at hand demonstrates, does not pick and choose. It just happens.
In the days ahead, someone in Cameroon, Uganda, or Zimbabwe will be jailed for the hideous crime of loving. I hold no religious beliefs, but I am familiar with the Christian belief that everyone was made in the image of a certain god, apparently not homosexuals. The same book says you should love your neighbors, except... homosexuals. There is a lot in the Christian bible (the sermon on the mount, the adulteress' fable, the 10 commandments) that could go the way of condoning homosexual behavior. Unfortunately, there is also the sword of Damocles in the bible's Leviticus to muddy the interpretation in favor of homosexuals. As is the tendency with religious intolerance, one can be certain that a Christian zealot will kill a homosexual one of these days, and it will be OK. After all, there is no difference between being jailed for life and being killed, right? It's just a homosexual!
Looking at interactions on FB, for instance, I read vociferous and intolerant attacks on homosexuals from Africans and Cameroonians in particular. Paradoxically these people live in foreign societies in which others have fought hard for them to be recognized as a minority. They benefit from certain provisions that favor their insertion in societies that value equality and the rights of minorities. Christians want the right to observe their religious beliefs in a nonchristian society. Idem with Muslims who wear their hijabs and other religious paraphernalia unperturbed on US streets, for instance. This type of hypocrisy is very fashionable and is tantamount to selfishness.
No, my brothers and sisters from Africa, homosexuality is not an African import. It is as old as prostitution and is practiced in all societies. It was present in the Egyptian civilization and recent historical accounts in Africa. I can understand anyone's disgust at homosexual practices (I am not comfortable with two men kissing yet), but this has nothing to do with what you and I are comfortable with. It has everything to do with fairness and equity. As I write this, a child is being sold into some form of slavery in Africa. Children are working as house help for their uncles, aunts, brothers, and so on. The latter are "responsible" men and women who have used their authority to impress on these children's parents (most of whom are poor) that they will "take care" of their children for them. The parents gladly give away their children, one less mouth to feed, to their "enlightened" relatives. Some of these children end up living in deplorable conditions in homes where they care for their cousins, nieces, or other children, sometimes the same age as them. Many of these children suffer corporal punishment, and some are sexually abused. It will not be surprising if some of the boys are abused by men who are promoting laws against homosexuality. Some of these children end up working as sex slaves. This is our real problem. Where is the outcry? Is this a fight that is worth the deployment of all available resources (including any reserved for the fight against homosexuality) to curb and eradicate it? My guess is more Cameroonians are familiar with what I describe than they are threatened by homosexuality.
In every civilization, humans react to deviant and harmful behavior by invoking checking mechanisms or setting in place punitive measures with the aim of restoring a sense of balance. I don't see what these measures against homosexuality solve. Christians say it is a sin. We are not all Christians. I have also heard this crypto-racist term "traditional family values" branded. According to some, sexual intercourse is limited to procreation. Even bonobos and dolphins disagree as they, besides us, like to frolic and enjoy sex not solely for the purpose of reproduction. There is nothing traditional that is all binding and compelling. It all depends on personal preferences. That is why we need tolerance to accommodate the fantasy some hold that we are descendants of Adam and Eve, as well as the faulty solipsism that if you don't believe in someone's god, you are an infidel good for doom. Our vast accommodations for one man's poison and another's medicine require we extend the same courtesy to homosexuals. I am personally less threatened by homosexuals than I am by Christian and Muslim zealots.Please stop the irascible discrimination.
Then, let's talk.
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